BULLETIN ARTICLE – 30 APR 2017
Celibacy or singleness is a desirable gift. It is a God-given gift. For the Apostle Paul it is a God-honouring and God-centered gift and not many have this special gifting. This is in the context of Paul speaking to the Corinthian Christians, as to whether one should marry or remain single. There were problems of sexual immorality and inappropriate relationships. Therefore, Paul recommended that “if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion” (1 Cor 7:9). There are responsibilities within marriage which will offer respectable safeguards against immoral and lustful behaviour. Paul himself preferred singleness as he could devote his whole life and will to God. He encouraged the unmarried and widows to be like him. Yet he understood that it was not a calling for many and it required one to have a holy determination. It is neither good or bad, right or wrong to remain single or to be married. It is the motivation that matters.
Those who choose singleness can have the singled-minded devotion to spend much of their time and efforts towards God, uninterrupted by family and children. Jesus says it is “only for those to whom it has been given” and “it is for the sake of the kingdom of heaven.” therefore “the one who can accept this should accept it” (Matt 19:11-12).
For some of present day singles, except for the nuns, monks, Mother Theresa (s) or the Amy Carmichael(s), singleness seems to be an anomaly. It is not so much a choice but rather that the “right” man or woman has not come along. How should such a Christian view his situation? Marriage isn’t better or worse than singleness; it is just different. The true prize of singleness is undistracted devotion to God and service to His cause. God promises to meet our needs; He did not promise us a husband or a wife. For some it may be a dream unfulfilled and it takes courage to process this “loss”. But by accepting the reality, one moves on to dream new dreams.
Contentment is not a feeling; it is a determination. Albert Hsu in his book “Singles at the Crossroads” shares this significant point on this subject: “Dignity and personhood come not from marriage and progeny but from identity within the kingdom of God.” It takes a strong-hearted and deeply-focused Christian to find God alone to be fully satisfying. Being single is not a badge of shame and marriage does not bring instant fulfillment. Being where God wants you to be is far worthy. God has rich and meaningful plans for the single to be satisfied and to live fully for Him and His glory.
